Tom and Judy Lickona, authors of a book called Sex, Love & You: Making the Right Decision, list 13 reasons why some young people choose to have sex:
1. Sexual
attraction - We are sexual beings so it's natural that we are sexually
attracted to others. Without sex, the human race would become extinct!
On
the other hand, human beings control their sexual attractions to others
- all the time. If you pass someone on the street who seems attractive
to you, do you suddenly rip off your clothes and try to have sex right
there on the street? Of course not.
Human beings have the
power to choose whether or not to have sex. Two animals, if attracted
to each other, will probably go ahead and have sex on the street,
regardless of who's watching. For human beings, there are other issues
to be considered, which will be explored below.
2. Social and
media pressure - We are constantly bombarded with sexual messages in
the movies, TV shows, magazine ads, and billboards. The producers of
these messages are taking advantage of our responsiveness to sexual
stimuli to make a profit. Of course, they often fail to include
information about any of the consequences of sex such as disease or
pregnancy.
It's not easy to
resist this constant sexual bombardment. Many have expressed anger
about what they see as socially irresponsible media. Others say they
wish that the producers of these messages would show more restraint or
at least some intelligence and balance in their messages.
Instead
of just waiting for this "erotic environment" to change, what can you
do? You can begin to understand why these messages are being produced
and to see why they are not reality.
Other reasons young people choose to have sex include:
3. Peer
pressure - Many young people feel great pressure from other teenagers
to become sexually active, as if having sex alone were a sign of
maturity.
4. Pressure from a partner
5. Desire to be seen by others as "normal"
6. Parental
example of permissiveness - Just as there are some parents who have a
problem with abuse of alcohol or drugs, some parents abuse sex. It's
natural for young people to be influenced by their parents' example.
7. Wrong kind
of sex education - One teenage boy said about the sex education he had
received, "they teach us all the facts about sex. But they don't teach
us any rules."
Sex education
programs which merely give the facts about sex in a "value-neutral" way
and which imply that the only issue to be concerned about is whether
you're using a condom or not have been shown to be very ineffective in
helping teenagers make responsible decisions.
8. Mistaken beliefs.
9. "Don't know
what else to do" - a high school student who wrote an essay on teenage
pregnancy in an area of New York City where many girls become pregnant
stated that teenagers become sexually involved because they are
"bored," and "have nothing better to do."
10. Use of alcohol and drugs.
11. Low self-esteem
12. Loneliness
13. No good reasons to say no.
The Lickonas interviewed a 21 year-old college student who said:
"Chastity
[which is a decision to wait until marriage to have sex] has been an
enormous challenge for me during my college years. I have failed at it
because I couldn't answer the question, 'Why shouldn't I have sex?' I
gave in because I figured, since I didn't have a solid answer, I must
be wrong. I also read all this stuff that claims that virginity is
unnatural, abnormal, and 'repressed.' "
