The Impact of the World Trade Center Attack on Families
by Don Browning, Director of the Religion, Culture, and Family Project
Matters
pertaining to marriage, family, and religion--the subject matter of the
RCF Project--at first seemed far removed from the September 11 disaster
at the World Trade Center. There the issues were life versus death,
terrorism versus principled dissent, democracy versus tyranny, the
separation of religion and state versus theocracy.
But
in the aftermath of this great human tragedy, it also became a story
about children, parents, marriage, and singleness. There are estimates
that as many as 15,000 children will have been robbed of one or more of
their parents. Many parents, it seems, were single parents; with their
death their children must now find a new home-- possibly with
grandparents, other relatives, or the estranged or absent parent. A new
loneliness is reported to be sweeping over young, free, and once happy
singles of the fast-paced life of New York city. Unattached young men
and women, we are told, are now turning to other singles, renewing
friendships, trying to find that old crowd, and wondering whether they
are missing something by not having a mate, a family, someone to care
for, or a person to care for them.
All across the country
there are reports that couples who had filed for divorce are now
electing not to go forward with the legal action. Ministers and
justices of the peace claim that the marriage rate has taken a sudden
spurt. Those already married now seem to be valuing it more. Those
unmarried now seem to want a partner and perhaps offspring who will
remain after they are gone. Teachers and parents are banding together
to determine how best to talk about the disaster with children.
President
Bush is telling us to hug our loved ones, and government leaders are
visiting classrooms to reassure students. The World Trade Center was
about politics. Most analyses say it was not really even about
religion. Islam has principles of just war, forbids taking innocent
life, and disdains suicide. So, in the end, the perpetrators misused
religion for misguided political purposes. But the event was also about
marriage, family, and children. In the name of distorted control of
family life -- such as the Taliban regime enforces in Afghanistan --
they struck at women, children, fathers, and families in the U.S. In a
way so deep, so automatic, and so reflexive as to suggest that it comes
from something deep in the human psyche, individuals seem to be turning
to their families in profound new ways.
This leaves us with a question. Does it take disasters to remind us of the importance of good marriages and vital families? Do
we have to be scared out of our wits to realize the essential value of
these realities for our lives? Wouldn't it be better to create an
abiding culture that supports and encourages these institutions,
prepares us for them, maintains them once created, honors them in
everyday life even when times are good and easy, and helps renew them
when they meet their inevitable trials?
Must
we wait for a war, a bomb, an attack, or wild airplanes crashing into
our most magnificent buildings to force us to acknowledge and value
what we should cherish all along?
